The title came to me first, for a change, because that’s what’s on my mind. Enough of most things to be honest, I want it all to change – but we are all too scared of it, we all resist it. Have I never, have I ever changed. Or or nor, to my knowledge anyway.

I don’t care. I hate that saying, everybody cares, care is on a spectrum you either just simply care less or care more, but never just don’t care – just you thinking about it shows you care, somewhat. Or is that just one way of looking at it, hmmm I’m frustrated with work. The work I’ve always done, this is what I want to change, just one day wake up and do something different boo…..grrr I’m writing what I feel and think again I shouldn’t be doing this I need to write about other things. Isn’t it amazing how our brain works, what was that I saw the other day – someone born without a frontal lobe or something? Nothing wrong with her, because, the function, the role of the frontal lobe simply just moved to another place in her brain, like the back lobe or something. Crazy. But naaaa, it’s mad that the best thinking is not thinking of the literal but the thinking of the underpin. What underpins what, like the levels of meaning. You have surface level thinking then it just turns into fiction, assumptions and hypotheses. Pffff reality is fiction, everybody’s storytelling is different, everyone’s brain is a typewriter – a constant, typing up of the stream of consciousness flowing from literally nothingness into thee, frontal lobe. Where do these thoughts come from, what is the underpinning of these letters and words that ultimately flow through my fingertips on to the buttons I press to transcribe. I do on the other hand, like, the saying, “stream of consciousness” ahhh who used that phrase before, oh yes. I remember. I’ll have you know, she is a goddess – heavenly divine.

I’m sorry my friendship with you lacks sustenance – I love you.