Mann i wish I could strike through a footbAll. Really hit it hard, and put it where I want it. Like I can kick a football obviously, but there is a difference. I don’t play football for months and expect to control and kick a ball. I was genuinely better at 13/14 then I am now, just from the frequency of playing. The feel for the ball. I hope my best playing days are still ahead of me, like I’m only 23. I can learn to kick through the ball, use my body and hold the ball up…no? This builds on what I was saying early, mastery of the body. I love football I want to play it everyday, like a child in the park or the street or with small foam ball using my dishwasher as a goal, dribbling around my mum as she made the dinner. Impossible, now but it’s really not. I know what I need to write about, I first learnt about it years ago, when I was unable to think for myself, preoccupied with other peoples doings, wrongdoings and what I was told or show by others ~ it’s all meaningless now but for so long I was trapped. This model became apparent to me, and it’s application, when I first and truly realized the lack of the initial first layer, this feeling of unnecessary suffering. I will go into more detail later but it’s prevalence in all of our lives is important and ongoing – some have reached the top and maintain at the top, some maintain a lower level, and some fluctuate up and down. I don’t know where I sit, I could argue all three. I’ll get around to it eventually, but for now I’m going to bed.