I wake to the same feeling I have for the past 2 weeks. Aching all over and not feeling healthy at all. I feel burnt out, but I’m not doing much about it. This is when a realization hit me, it’s time to turn to the body. I have spent a lot of time developing a way of thinking or actually consciously trying to think for myself. However a neglect of the body has come back to haunt me. I knew what I wanted to do out here, it’s in my diary; dated and logged. Have I realized it yet, well, I started and gave up like most things in life I don’t see things through I get around 70% then ease off, what is the point. Perhaps I’m afraid of a certain type of commitment. Commitment to a cause to change my behavior, commitment to a way of being, commitment to a routine that encapsulates me and defines me to a label. I know I complain and I know I don’t do much about things. But I want to understand why I am complaining…it seems babyish asking this ‘why’ question, I need to rethink and ask a better one. I lay here knowing I’m going to be in a rush for work now, somethings never change, or so they say – we all have faults we all have things deep rooted in us and it will take a monumental effort or event to over turn especially if we over think. Some of these monumental efforts occur by themselves, mind, and happen just like that, when you stop thinking about it – habits pass over and routine instilled. Perhaps I’m doing too much thinking, mind over matter, letting the illness and thoughts consume me, my mind and my body. It’s the balance between the two. My mind is a relatively strong place but my body has regressed – is this old age? Surely not….