I’m aware its the 26th of December…but what day of the week it actually is?….i have no clue.

As I sit and do exactly the same thing I have done since thursday, I explore in my mind different ways of living and, how opening yourself up to these different ways of living, through travelling the world, can be so powerful to ones development. I am not one to talk about travelling because, not only have I not done much of it myself, I hate the word.

So. All we have to us is the present moment… right ? The past has gone and the future is always uncertain, and so it got me thinking about what, how and why i am living the way I am. And, I think about daily. People ask me where do you live, what do you get up to and I sort of reluctantly tell them. I chose the word reluctantly because at the time of writing I feel as if I am not proud of where I am, but then again, pride is considered a sin so that’s not the case at all, as I only sin far worse than that. Instead, what I mean is that I reluctantly tell these people because it doesn’t align with the culture these people hold or currently live within, of relentlessly promoting avarice and excess. I simply would just prefer to save myself the hassle of telling them as they would just struggle to understand. Just like myself, I struggled to understand, until, well, today.

I had a sudden realisation that the present was trying to show me something and I have been fighting against it for the last however long…until, well today. For example, in this present time, I currently posses a shit phone which I cant do much with or perhaps more significantly, the constant struggle I have been having with the WIFI – I can’t stream a youtube video, zoom call friends/family, stream a song off spotify without it buffering every 10 seconds.

These two things occurring in the present, I feel are sign that I need to get off my phone and not be forcing the technology and wifi in order to follow a way of living. This all occurred as I engrossed and got lost in the story of my book without a care of anything else in the world…people, feelings, wants, desires etc.

That list of things there, are all things that come and go, and make up ways of life – as I find myself far away from my previous way of living…these things should change and change they have.

Today, I feel as if I have listened to my brain and actually did as it was telling me…to ground myself in the present and find what it is, the present wants from you. The wifi, obviously doesn’t want to be abused, and neither does the phone – something I did in my previous way of living..instead the book does, I couldn’t put it down for more than 20 seconds. The present wanted me to read the book and the book wanted to be read.

I think back to the past (yes, I have sort of contradicted myself in saying that) and it has became apparent to me that I find myself doing what I dreamed about doing so much then – sitting, reading, learning, being somewhere new, sunshine everyday, no overreliance on technology, a simple life…this is how I dreamed of living, not precisely where but what, its not far off.